I thought it both easy and interesting simply to cut and paste my notes into my post. So below you will find my unaltered notes. If you have any questions please feel free to ask! I hope you enjoy!
Proverbs 13:1 A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, but a mocker does not respond to rebukes.
Proverbs 23:24 The father of a righteous child has great joy; a man who fathers a wise son rejoices in him.
Being a husband and father for me is that greatest calling I have. Honestly, If you have children I want to tell you that it is the greatest calling you have as well. (Psamls 127 “As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.” To me this Psalm talks about responsibility.
We all have fathers. Some of us have been fathered very well and some of us have not been fathered well at all.
In recent history our society has leaned heavily on the role of the mother. It has been the priority of the courts and social system to keep children with mother their mothers at all costs. This is not necessarily bad; however an unintended outcome is to minimize and vilify many fathers.
I am not saying that all fathers are bad or villains I am saying that due to this social construct the role of the father has become increasingly minor. And as a result many fathers have abdicated their responsibilities as fathers. One of the greatest social issues facing America today is the issues of the absentee dad. And as a counselor I will take that one step further and add the emotionally absent dad; because this is almost as bad (the lights are on but no bodies home).
On the contrary the recent research indicates that fathers play the major role in the child’s life. Please understand that I am not saying that mothers are not necessary what I am saying is that the role of the father has been underemphasized. I see it over and over again. Father’s that hurt or frustrate their children by their physical and or emotional absence. I of all people understand this. Sometimes it is a struggle to be the dad that I know I am supposed to be. Sometimes I get it wrong and that is okay because I keep trying to get better and do it well.
What makes father’s so important? What do they provide for children that mother’s don’t or don’t do as well a father does.
Fathers give children and families identity.
I know I am not alone when I tell you that I was not fathered well as a child.
Search for Identity
When we have identity we can be free
Freedom means that we can be who God created us to be. We as fathers can provide our children with so much freedom. Freedom from emotional baggage that will allow them to be the person that God created them to be. With that said, and remember that I am a dad too, I know that this can be one of the most difficult things to do. At some point our children start to share in the responsibility of their own emotional help. And! We play a role in that too! We must coach, lead, guide them through this process.
I honestly think that the hardest part for most parents is that parenting is hard; to be a good parent there are very few breaks; there is little room for selfishness; and you must be consistent. When it’s all said it’s inconvenient.
When we are free we can live out of the fullness of our relationship with God and people. We no longer rely on externals to give us identity. God gives us identity through salvation through Jesus Christ and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.
We as fathers must remember how God fathers us. My brother-in-law who is also a pastor told me last night that out of all the times the word discipline is used on the bible only two are in a negative context; the rest are in a positive instructional type of context.
Luke 6:36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful