Today while reading blog posts I came across this great post by Mike Lehr (you can follow him on Twitter @MikeLehrOZA).
The title of the post is Oak & Apple Trees. The gist of the post is this. There are two types of people in the world. There are Oak type people that are inherently strong and resilient. These types of people can withstand much and yield much in the process.
The next type of person is the Apple type. Apple trees can also be resilient however the fruit that they produce depends upon how the tree has been cared for. If apple trees are well cared for they can produce abundant sweet fruit that many people desire. If not… then the tree will produce a little fruit that is tainted by worms and insects.
To me this perfectly illustrates the dynamics of nature vs. nurture conversation in the field of psychology/behavioral science. With each individual there are natural markers or tendencies. And. There is also the factor of how the individual was nurtured or raised.
Some children, no matter what they experience will succeed while others struggle.
Here’s my point. No matter what the nature part of the equations holds; everybody will be better and produce better fruit when they are nurtured well.
It is our responsibility as parents to nurture our children in a way that they can thrive in life and produce the best fruit that they are capable of producing.
Here are some suggestions:
Listen to and Affirm your children. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to agree with them.
Provide an Emotionally Safe environment for your children to be themselves and not be punished for it.
Demonstrate how Valuable your children are. Appropriate praise will get you farther than negative comments or yelling.