This is something that I see as a therapist very often. So many people come to me because of other people’s actions. We call it trauma. Yes… So many of us have experienced different levels of trauma; it seems like it is almost unavoidable to traverse life without being traumatized these days.
I have heard terrible stories of life altering hurt and pain. We cannot deny that trauma is life altering. We cannot deny that it leaves deep wounds and scars. We cannot deny that trauma changes how our brain works and how we see and experience the world that we live in.
Here’s the tension:
So many of us get stuck in our trauma. It’s like we stumble around in darkness trying to find a way out but we are never able to find the door or even a light switch so that we can see what we are doing.
As we continue to live this way we accept it as normal. It’s our normal; our experience. We don’t know anything better or different. We want different; we want change but we don’t know where to start.
So, we are frustrated with life, depressed, anxious, and angry.
If we stay in this place long enough it can actually become a source of comfort. It’s familiar; almost predictable. Remember that the monster that we know is less scary than the monster that we don’t know. The unknown is terrifying; it stops us in our tracks…. Even as we are trying to heal.
The good news is: “You don’t have to be a slave to the consequences of other people’s choices.”
You’re not trapped or stuck unless you choose to continue to be.
The road to recovery is long, hard, and scary. And, it’s completely worth it!
Gabor Mate says, “Trauma is not what happens to you… It’s how you respond to it”
Be strong, courageous, and resilient. It’s worth it! Remember: We cannot slay a dragon that we continue to run away from.